


An Embarrassment of Fanservice: Legolas

by Araeph



Series: No Longer Bilbo's Story [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Essays, F/M, Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 11:18:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6049630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Araeph/pseuds/Araeph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Legolas of Mirkwood continues the fine Tauriel tradition of sidlining canon characters, themes, and events in pursuit of his own awesomeness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Embarrassment of Fanservice: Legolas

The problem with Tauriel is simple: the _Hobbit_ needs more women, but the story doesn’t need more characters. Indeed, the script struggles just to flesh out the characterization of the existing members of the Company in less time than the Fellowship had for fewer members. Legolas’ problem is also simple: he is a fan favorite from the original trilogy, and so the writers gave into temptation by lending him far more screentime than he deserved.

It isn’t such a problem in _The_ _Desolation of Smaug_ because Legolas’ scenes there almost always help develop Thranduil’s character and foreshadow both the Battle of the Five Armies and the coming darkness that Sauron will bring. Also, as the king’s son and a known character, his presence doesn’t need an explanation or justification. Neither does he need extravagant shows of battle prowess to get us to like him. We already like Legolas; that’s why he can get away with being mean toward the Company, because we already know he’ll grow beyond that to a friendship with Gimli. Some of his scenes, like the battle with Bolg, can surely be cut from Film Two, but they aren’t the huge waste of screentime that Tauriel’s scenes are.

That is, until we get to the third movie.

 

 

> _[There is still screaming and crying all about, as people pull the bodies of their loved ones out of the water and onto the shore. The dwarves, Oin, Bofur, and Fili, grab a boat and begin to push it out into the water. Kili approaches Tauriel.]_
> 
> _[Kili:] “Tauriel.”_
> 
> _[Fili:] “Kili, come on! We’re leaving.”_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“They are your people - You must go.”_
> 
> _[Tauriel looks at Kili both sadly and guardedly, then walks past him. Kili looks distraught for a second, then whirls around to face her again.]_
> 
> _[Kili:] “Come with me. I know how I feel; I’m not afraid. You make me feel alive.”_
> 
> _[Tauriel turns her head away.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“I can’t.”_
> 
> _[Kili reaches out and grabs her arm, then says something in Dwarvish.]_
> 
> _[Kili:] “Tauriel, amralime” (presumably, “Tauriel, my love”)_
> 
> _[Hearing this, Tauriel looks at Kili, shocked and surprised.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“I don’t know what that means.”_
> 
> _[Kili smiles.]_
> 
> _[Kili:] “I think you do.”_
> 
> _[Tauriel smiles and begins to lean toward Kili, but then suddenly straightens up and makes her face blank. She addresses Legolas, whom she sensed approaching behind her.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel_ _:] “Hîr nín, Legolas.” [Subtitle: My Lord Legolas.]_
> 
> _[Kili looks with hostility over Tauriel’s shoulder at Legolas.]_
> 
> _[Leg_ _olas:] “Maewado i Naug.” [Subtitle: Take your leave of the Dwarf.]_
> 
> _[Legola_ _s:] “Boe i nadh egeno.” [Subtitle: You are needed elsewhere.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel looks at Kili for a few more seconds, then, torn by her duty, begins to turn away. Kili sadly turns toward his friends launching the boat. He suddenly pauses, then turns around and hurries back to Tauriel. He takes her hand and places his black stone into it, folding her fingers closed over it. She gasps and looks at him as he gets close to her face and holds her hands to his heart.]_
> 
> _[Kili:] “Keep it. As a promise.”_
> 
> _  
> _ _[They smile at each other, then Kili runs toward the boat. Legolas looks on, confused. Tauriel looks down at the stone in her hand, then looks after Kili and the dwarves in the boat; her eyes are wet. Kili looks back at her for several moments, then begins rowing.]_

I have said before that Legolas could get away with being unpleasant to the Company even though he wasn’t set up as an antagonist. However, this is where that unpleasantness begins to grate. We don’t actually see Legolas being nice to anyone except Tauriel in DOS, and this is now the third time we’ve had to endure him brooding over the possibility of a Tauriel/Kíli relationship. Neither Tauriel nor Kíli is particularly endearing right now, as the audience must patiently wait for the plot to meet up with the characters again, but of the three, Legolas is the one who comes off as the most insufferable. Grow up, Legolas. You and Tauriel have already had centuries to get to know each other; if she’s not interested by now, she probably won’t be anytime soon.

(This exchange between the three of them does nothing to develop the world, advance the themes, or flesh out the characters, of course. But this is true of any scene in the love triangle, so let’s move on.)

 

 

>  
> 
> _[At the Laketown camp, the people are packing supplies and getting ready to leave.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Take only what you need. We have a long march ahead.”_
> 
> _[Legolas:] “Where will you go?”_
> 
> _[Bard looks across the lake.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Where is only one place.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:]_ _“The mountain! You are a genius, sire. We can take refuge inside the mountain. It might smell a bit of dragon - The women can clean up. It will be safe and warm and dry, and full of stores, bedding, clothing...the odd bit of gold.”_
> 
> _[Bard:] “What gold is in that mountain is cursed. We will take only what was promised to us - only what we need to rebuild our lives.”_
> 
> _[Bard dumps a bundle of sticks he was packing into Alfrid’s hands and walks off. Alfrid then dumps the sticks into the hands of an old woman who already has a load of sticks.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:]_ _“Here - pull your weight!“_
> 
> _[Legolas:] “News of the death of Smaug will have spread through the lands.”_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Aye.”_
> 
> _[Legolas:] “Others will now look to the mountain - for its wealth, or its position.”_
> 
> _[Bard:] “What is it you know?”_
> 
> _[Legolas:] “Nothing for certain. It’s what I fear may come.”_
> 
> _[Legolas, looking concerned, looks off into the distance.]_

Legolas the Expositor has arrived on the scene. This interpretation of Legolas was somewhat present in the original trilogy, on purpose: even Tolkien said that he was the least important member of the Fellowship, and given what is known of heightened Elvish perception, Jackson and Co. decided that Legolas would be the eyes, ears, and intuition of the group while on the road. There’s noting wrong with continuing this idea into the prequels…except for one thing. This particular bout of information has _already_ been exposited, by Thorin, right at the beginning of _An Unexpected Journey:_

 

 

> _[Thorin:] “Shazara! [not translated onscreen: Silence!] If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr! [not translated onscreen: To arms! To arms!]”_

There is no need whatsoever to reiterate this information. It was delivered simply and easily the first time, and with the Company in the films being hunted by the orc pack all the way from Weathertop, the audience is fully aware that “others will now look to the Mountain.” It’s bad enough when we moviegoers have to sit through exposition for our _own_ benefit; we don’t need to hear a _character_ getting it when we already know what’s going on!

Legolas’ redundancy of information, combined with the way he is talking _at_ Bard, rather than _with_ him (and his focus seems to be entirely elsewhere), gives the whole scene a hollow, going-through-the-motions feel instead of being an engaging part of the story. Bard learns nothing about Legolas here, nor Legolas about Bard. The Elf prince might as well be a _Star Wars_ hologram. And it’s not as if we need to be reminded that Legolas is perceptive and knowledgeable; that was already a given from the last trilogy.

 

 

> _[Tauriel and Legolas stride through the Laketown camp.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“You saw something out there.”_
> 
> _[Legolas:] “The orc I pursued out of Laketown - I know who he is. Bolg - a spawn of Azog the Defiler. A warg pack was waiting for him on the outskirts of Esgaroth. They fled into the north. These orcs were different from the others. They wore a mark I had not seen for a long time. The mark of Gundabad.”_
> 
> _[Tauriel stops in shock and turns to Legolas.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“Gundabad?”_
> 
> _[Legolas:] “An orc-stronghold in the far north of the Misty Mountains.”_
> 
> _[An elf from Mirkwood rides up on a horse and addresses Legolas.]_
> 
> _[Elf:] “Hîr nín, Legolas. Celin ’winiath o adar lín.” [Subtitle: My Lord Legolas, I bring word from your Father.]_
> 
> _[Elf:] “Cân i hi danwenidh na le.” [Subtitle: You are to return to him immediately.]_
> 
> _[Legola_ _s:] “Tolo, Tauriel.” [Subtitle: Come, Tauriel.]_
> 
> _[Elf:] “Hîr nín. Edlennen Tauriel.” [Subtitle: My Lord, Tauriel is banished.]_
> 
> _[Legola_ _s:] “Edlennen?” [Subtitle: Banished?]_
> 
> _[Both Legolas and Tauriel are surprised.]_
> 
> _[Legolas:] “You may tell my father: If there is no place for Tauriel, there is no place for me”_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“Legolas. It is your King’s command”_
> 
> _[Leg_ _olas:] “Naw aran nín, mal ú-gân innas nín.” [Subtitle: Yes, he is my King. But he does not command my heart.]_
> 
> _[Legolas turns and walks away from the elven messenger.]_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“I ride north. Will you come with me?”_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“To where?”_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“To Gundabad.”_
> 
> _[Tauriel and Legolas ride out of the Laketown camp on Legolas’s horse. The townspeople, carrying their possessions and stretchers with their sick and injured, begin the long trek around the lake and toward the Mountain.]_

Legolas gets characterization whiplash here, from being the wise and learned Elf lord he was with Bard, to acting like a petulant teenager. I’m surprised he didn’t add, “And tell my father I’m not speaking to him, so there!” If he really wanted to save Tauriel’s hide, Legolas should have relayed the message that _he_ was the one to keep Tauriel away, even though she wanted to return. In any case, neither Elf should have been the least bit surprised at the banishment part. Tauriel was the captain of the guard, and she deserted her post without warning.

Speaking of which, remember in the last essay, when I mentioned that Tauriel seemed much more ideally suited for a scouting position? Here, she and Legolas do go out scouting together to report back on the orcs’ movements from the north. It’s too bad they don’t do it very efficiently, either for the plot’s sake or for their own.

 

 

> _[Legolas and Tauriel leave their horses and scramble up a rocky outcrop. They crouch behind some rocks at the top and see a fortress ahead.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“Gundabad. What lies beyond?”_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“An old enemy - The ancient kingdom of Angmar. This fortress was once its stronghold. It is where they kept their great armories, forged their weapons of war.”_
> 
> _[A light flickers in a window of the fortress, then disappears.]_
> 
> _[Tauriel:]_ _“A light! I saw movement.”_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“We wait for the cover of night. It is a fell place, Tauriel. In another age our people waged war on those lands.”_
> 
> _[Legolas pauses, looking pained. Tauriel looks at him.]_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“My mother died there. My father does not speak of it. There is no grave, no memory, nothing.”_

  
Here we find out that Legolas’ mother was captured and likely tortured to death by orcs, and her son has never forgotten it. This makes his father less likely to let him go off on his own and marry where he will. Hmm, that sounds awfully familiar… 

 

 

> _"Elladan and Elrohir were out upon errantry: for they rode often far afield with the Rangers of the North, forgetting never their mother's torment in the dens of the orcs." (FotR, Many Meetings)_

Ah, yes. The Halfelven family.

Elrond’s wife, Celebrían, was caught and tormented by orcs in the Misty Mountains just like Legolas’ mother; she was later rescued, but her body and spirit were so damaged that she had to sail for the Undying Lands. Just as with Legolas’ mother, there is no grave for her. Just as with Legolas’ father, Elrond is extremely protective of his daughter and tries to discourage her from marrying someone he thinks is beneath her. At this point, Legolas has copied exposition from Thorin to make himself seem wiser, and now he’s lifting the backstory of Rivendell’s ruling family to make himself more tragic. What next, stealing a line from Aragorn to make himself more badass?

 

 

 

> _Legolas: [sees a flock of giant bats] These bats are bred for one purpose... for war!_

 

Mission accomplished, Legolas! But between the fighting Uruk-Hai and a colony of oversized bats, it’s not hard to tell which is the original and which is the cheap knock-off.

 

>  
> 
> _[Legolas and Tauriel arrive back in Dale together on a horse; they charge through the streets, killing orcs on their way. They come to where Gandalf is standing.]_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“Gandalf!”_
> 
> _[Gandalf:] “Legolas... Legolas Greenleaf!”_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“There is a second army! Bolg leads a force of Gundabad orcs. They are almost upon us!”_
> 
> _[Gandalf:] “Gundabad…This was their plan all along. Azog engages our forces, then Bolg seeps in from the north.”_
> 
> _[Bilbo:] “Wha...the north...where is the north, exactly?!”_
> 
> _[Gandalf:] “Ravenhill.”_
> 
> _[Gandalf turns and strides over to the parapets to look at the hill where Thorin went; that is Ravenhill.]_
> 
> _[Bilbo:] “Ravenhill…Thorin is up there! And Fili and Kili - they’re all up there!”_
> 
> _  
> _ _[At the sound of Kili’s name, Tauriel is alarmed. Together, they all look out toward the top of Ravenhill, which is shrouded in mist.]_

The entire side trip to Gundabad, we find out, only takes place so that someone can warn the good guys that the orcs are coming. Surely a raven could have done as well for that? A case could be made for Thranduil getting character development as to why he’s such a curmudgeon (having one’s wife murdered by orcs will do that), but there is a reasonable explanation for this behavior already. A deleted scene from _An Unexpected Journey_ shows Thranduil being shown the white gems of Lasgalen, then having them snatched away from his grasp—public humiliation at the hands of the Dwarves. The scene is only a few seconds long and would have served the same purpose; there is no need to embark on this side mission, other than to give Legolas more facetime. Gandalf tries to lend Gundabad a little more weight by saying ominously, “If that fell kingdom should rise again…”, but this is a limp pronouncement considering the _other_ power rising again: Lord Sauron. The Gundabad adventure is an expensive waste of time all around, thrown in only to give Legolas something to do.

 

 

> _[As Thranduil and his elves march through the city, killing orcs, they stop abruptly as they see Tauriel standing in the middle of the lane ahead of them, looking resolute.]_
> 
> _**[Tauriel:] “_ _ _” [Subtitle: You will go no further.]** _
> 
> _**[Tauriel:] “ You will not turn away - not this time!”** _
> 
> _**[Thranduil:] “Get out of my way!”** _
> 
> _**[Tauriel:] “The dwarves will be slaughtered!”** _
> 
> _**[Thranduil:] “Yes, they will die. Today, tomorrow, one year hence, a hundred years from now - what does it matter? They are mortal.”** _
> 
> _[Thranduil has slowly been approaching Tauriel as he speaks. Suddenly, Tauriel whips out her bow and nocks an arrow, pointing it at Thranduil.]_
> 
> _**[Tauriel:] “You think your life is worth more than theirs, while there is no love in it? There is no love in you!”** _
> 
> _[Thranduil_ _looks at her angrily for a moment; suddenly, he whips out his sword and slices Tauriel’s bow in half. As she drops it in shock, Thranduil lifts the point of his sword to her neck and speaks angrily.]_
> 
> _[Thranduil:] “What do you know of love?! Nothing! What you feel for that dwarf is not real! You think it is love?! Are you ready to die for it?”_
> 
> _[Suddenly, another sword, Orcrist, is laid atop Thranduil’s. It is Legolas. He pushes Thranduil’s sword away.]_
> 
> _[Legolas:_ _]_ _“_ _ _”_ _[Subtitle: If you harm her, you will have to kill me.]_
> 
> _[As Thranduil stares at him in shock and anger, Thranduil turns to Tauriel.]_
> 
> _[Le golas:] “I will go with you.”_
> 
> _[They hurry away together.]_

This scene ties with Kíli’s death for the most improper use of romantic drama in the trilogy. Bilbo has just found out that Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli are walking into a death trap. There is a palpable sense of dread in the air. The tension is winding up to the final encounter between Azog and Thorin.

Luckily, the plight of Elves in love is just what we need to make this scene work!

Tauriel is the character that is warping this scene the most, since she is the cause of the tension between Legolas and his father. Still, Legolas must receive an honorable mention for his dogged faithfulness to Tauriel, even in light of treason and attempted regicide. (What says “captain of the guard” better than aiming an arrow at your sovereign’s head?) Not to worry, though: Legolas will more than close the distance between Tauriel's Sueness and his own with the death-defying stunt he pulls next: 

 

 

> _[Legolas, on top of the tower, suddenly feels the tower shaking. He looks down to see a troll smashing away at the tower’s base. Hearing Tauriel’s grunts, he looks out and sees her rolling with Bolg down the mountainside. She lands on a broken staircase, gasping in pain. Meanwhile, Bolg has landed near her; he rises and prepares to kill her. Legolas, seeing this, reaches back for an arrow, only to find that he has run out. He angrily throws down his bow and pulls out Orcrist. He leaps off the top of the tower and plummets down holding his sword out; he manages to stab the troll in the head, and it hobbles around in pain. Twisting the sword, he manages to get the troll to charge forward, smashing head first into the already-weakened base of the tower. Bolg looks up to see the tower fall over and make a bridge over the chasm in between Legolas and Bolg. As Tauriel lays unconscious, Bolg and Legolas charge at each other over the makeshift bridge. They begin fighting. As they fight, Bolg swings his heavy mace at Legolas and misses, hitting the floor and causing it to crumble and fall into the chasm.]_
> 
> _[Meanwhile, Thorin manages to stab an orc in the knee; another orc rushes up and smashes into him, causing him to slide across the ice all the way to the edge of the waterfall, directly over Legolas and Bolg. Bolg knocks Legolas over, but as he raises his mace, Thorin manages to knock an orc over the edge of the waterfall; it lands on the bridge behind Bolg, breaking through the stones and causing him to fall under a pile of rubble. Another orc approaches Thorin, who is lying on his back, partially hanging over the edge of the waterfall, defenseless. As it raises its sword, Legolas manages to throw Orcrist into the orc’s chest, killing it. As it falls over the edge, Thorin manages to reach out and grab the sword, saving it from going over.]_
> 
> _[As Legolas is watching Thorin, Bolg leaps out of the rubble and swings at Legolas, but Legolas dodges and pulls out his two knives, fighting Bolg with them. Thorin stands and looks in wonder at his blade come back to him; he looks up and sees Azog, alone, facing him. Thorin and Azog approach each other slowly; suddenly, a horn blows, and Azog smiles as a hill in the distance behind him becomes covered with approaching orc help. Azog charges forward and swings a large rock attached to a chain at Thorin, who ducks under it. As Azog is unbalanced by the swing, Thorin manages to get behind him and slash him. Azog angrily swings the rock at him again, and as Thorin dodges, the rock smashes into the ice, cracking it.]_
> 
> _[Meanwhile, Bolg throws a huge stone at Legolas, and it smashes the bridge beneath him. In an amazing and inhuman feat of agility, Legolas manages to run up falling rocks and leaps at Bolg. As they fight, Legolas manages to stab at Bolg, but Bolg grabs the knife between his arm and armor, just like in their encounter in Laketown. This time, though, Legolas smiles and uses the knife as leverage to swing atop Bolg’s shoulder; he then stabs Bolg through the top of the head, killing him; Legolas leaps back onto land as the bridge falls to the ground, carrying Bolg’s body with it. Legolas looks for Tauriel, but doesn’t see her.]_
> 
> **_[Le golas:] “Tauriel!”_ **

Legolas kills Bolg— _Legolas?_ A character who wasn’t even named in the book is responsible for the demise of the book’s goblin leader? Aside from the fact that it defies physics, eats up screentime, is only there to make him look awesome, does nothing to develop his character or Bolg’s, and looks amazingly fake, this is a fight that should have gone to Beorn. Not only is Beorn the one to finish Bolg off in the book; we as an audience would feel more of a connection to Beorn than we would to Legolas here.

Beorn has a reason to fight and kill Bolg, as he explains in the second movie. When the orcs came down from the north, they invaded his homeland and killed off all of his people, saving a few (including himself) to be tortured. Beorn, the last of his race, has more right than anyone to be the creature to end Azog’s line.

Let’s not be too hasty, though: Legolas _also_ has a connection to Bolg. Bolg gave him a bloody nose in the last movie!

Well, between having one’s kin wiped out, and receiving a bloody nose, it is _clear_ who this fight should go to: the most photogenic character instead of the character with the most meaningful story. In fact, the creators’ decision with Tauriel at the end of BOTFA beautifully parallels their decision regarding Legolas. While Kíli’s demise should have reflected his willingness to lay down his life for his king, instead it only serves as a backdrop for how tearful and tragic Tauriel is upon Kíli’s demise.

In short, two Elves have co-opted the sorrow and pathos of the ending of the _Hobbit_ at the expense of the Dwarvish heroes. It’s one thing to adapt the portrayal of the longstanding feud between Elves and Dwarves; it’s quite another to _take sides_ while doing it. In fact, even death doesn’t stop the Elvish invasion of the climax of the _Hobbit:_

 

 

> _[Tauriel, heartbroken, places Kili’s stone in his dead hand, as Legolas watches.]_

The filmmakers clearly understood that what we wanted to be reminded of most at this moment was the love triangle between Tauriel, Kíli, and Legolas…rather than the fact the three of the Dwarves Bilbo journeyed with will never see the Mountain restored to glory. So much is taken from the finale on account of the Elves, and so little is given in return.

Legolas’ character arc, if we can call it that, ends with him making peace—or at least a truce—with Thranduil. While it takes the time to bookend Legolas’ journey, with the audience knowing that he will go on to befriend Aragorn, it merely serves as a tie-in to _Lord of the Rings_ , rather than serving the movie it actually inhabits.

 

 

> _[Thranduil walks slowly through the ruins of Ravenhill, gazing about at the carnage. Legolas approaches him.]_
> 
> **_[Le golas:] “I...cannot go back.”_ **
> 
> _[Legolas brushes past his father and prepares to leave.]_
> 
> **_[Thranduil:] “Where will you go?”_ **
> 
> _[Legolas turns and faces Thranduil.]_
> 
> **_[Le golas:] “I do not know.”_ **
> 
> **_[Thranduil:] “Go north. Find the_** **_Dúnedain. There’s a young Ranger amongst them- you should meet him. His father, Arathorn, was a good man. His son might grow to be a great one.”_**
> 
> **_[Le golas:] “What is his name?”_ **
> 
> **_[Thranduil:] “He’s known in the wild as Strider. His true name you must discover for yourself.”_ **
> 
> _[They nod at each other, then Legolas turns and walks away. Thranduil calls after him, and Legolas pauses.]_
> 
> **_[Thranduil:] “Legolas... your mother loved you...more than anyone...more than life.”_ **
> 
> _[Legolas opens his eyes open in shock and surprise. Legolas and Thranduil make a gesture of departure to each other, then Legolas leaves. Thranduil watches him leave sadly, bowing his head in grief. He then proceeds through the ruins and finds Tauriel still next to Kili’s body.]_
> 
> **_[Tauriel:] “They want to bury him.”_ **
> 
> **_[Thranduil:] “Yes…”_ **
> 
> **_[Tauriel:] “If this is love, I do not want it.”_ **
> 
> _[Heartbrokenly, Tauriel pleads with Thranduil.]_
> 
> **_[Tauriel:] “Take it from me, please! Why does it hurt so much?”_ **
> 
> _[Thranduil approaches her slowly with an understanding look in his eyes.]_
> 
> **_[Thranduil:] “Because it was real.”_ **
> 
> _[Tauriel looks up at him in shock. After thinking for a while, she kisses Kili one last time.]_

Tauriel and Legolas are birds of a feather: they are the characters that one might _think_ the audience would love, merely for their beauty, badassery, and battle skills. But for all of the time and energy spent building up their superhuman abilities and pseudo-tragic love story, Tauriel and Legolas still feel underdeveloped. There is far more humanity to be had in the Dwarvish cast and Bard’s story, not to mention Bilbo’s…and there could have been even more, if the writers had just known when to quit.

Our sole consolation must be, that though the less conventionally attractive cast may not be front and center, they matter much more in the grand scheme of the movies. It is their triumphs and pitfalls, their flaws and qualities that we treasure the most. We can rest easy, knowing that at least the characters who aren’t there to look pretty will always be in the movies for a definite purpose and won’t _ever_ outstay their welcome!

…

Oh, right. Him.

 


End file.
